April 1, 2013 AT 10:06 am

NEW PRODUCT – Cygnus X-1 Write Only Drive

With the X-1, Cygnus has finally put the ‘mass’ into mass storage technology!  This high-capacity storage device provides the ultimate in secure storage for all your sensitive data.

The X-1’s advanced quantum-gravitational compression algorithms and ultra-high density storage technology provide virtually unlimited storage capacity in a very compact package. With no vulnerable passwords or encryption keys to crack, the patented write-only technology guarantees that whatever is stored in Cygnus X-1 will stay in Cygnus X-1.

USB Cable included.

Note: Due to gravitational redshift, we do not recommend this device for storing photographs.

In stock and shipping now!

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  1. April Fool 😉

  2. I do have several questions :
    As mentioned, there is a risk of redshift for pictures stored on it. Do you think that it would be possible, by choosing in which directory we store the pictures, to choose the value of this redshift, allowing to correct some “too much blue” photographies ?
    Other question : This redshift seems to be linked to the amount of datas, creating a data black hole. Do you think that if I upload all Internet into this device, I could create a huge black hole that could attract the Internet from other planets ?

    Thank you in advance for your answers.

  3. @Ludo – Due to the extreme compression ratio, individual directories within the Cyngular-IT file system will be indistinguishable.

    As for the second question: Absolutely, but device portability may suffer due to the additional mass.

  4. Will placing this device in close proximity to lesser storage devices risk damage to them due to tidal stresses? What’s the minimum safe distance when setting this up?

  5. does it use the SIGNETICS 25120 chip set ?

  6. @JGM – It comes with a 6″ cable as shown in the photo. No destructive effects were observed at that distance.

    @michael – We referred your question to Cygnus, but as you might expect, it is impossible to get any information out of them.

  7. Is this using the Signetics 25120 WOM chip?

  8. Hmm. Given the weight, the shipping costs must be phenomenal.

  9. @WA5ZNU – As mentioned earlier, we have not been able to get any information out of Cygnus. But based on observations, it does appear to be some sort of rotating storage.

  10. These are the most amusing and brilliant responses to anything that the internet gave us for April 1st this year. This, and this alone, gives me hope for the future of humanity.

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