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September 1, 2014 AT 12:00 am

Take a peek inside IBM’s insane corporate songbook from 1937

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Via ars technica.

“For thirty-seven years,” reads the opening passage in the book, “the gatherings and conventions of our IBM workers have expressed in happy songs the fine spirit of loyal cooperation and good fellowship which has promoted the signal success of our great IBM Corporation in its truly International Service for the betterment of business and benefit to mankind.”

That’s a hell of a mouthful, but it’s only the opening volley in the war on self-respect and decency that is the 1937 edition of Songs of the IBM, a booklet of corporate ditties first published in 1927 on the order of IBM company founder Thomas Watson, Sr.

The 1937 edition of the songbook is a 54-page monument to glassey-eyed corporate inhumanity, with every page overflowing with trite praise to The Company and Its Men. The booklet reads like a terribly parody of a hymnal—one that praises not the traditional Christian trinity but the new corporate triumvirate of IBM the father, Watson the son, and American entrepreneurship as the holy spirit:

Thomas Watson is our inspiration,

Head and soul of our splendid I.B.M.

We are pledged to him in every nation,

Our President and most beloved man.

His wisdom has guided each division

In service to all humanity

We have grown and broadened with his vision,

None can match him or our great company.

T. J. Watson, we all honor you,

You’re so big and so square and so true,

We will follow and serve with you forever,

All the world must know what I. B. M. can do.

—from “To Thos. J. Watson, President, I.B.M. Our Inspiration”

Read more.

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